Its simple: clean out your colon.
In other words, spend a week sweeping your internal floors & washing your counters (I mean, sweeping & washing out your large intestine), kill off and expell the intestinal parasites that are sitting inside you right now (yes – inside your own gut, eating your lunch, making more farts), finally get rid of that hotdog you ate in 1987, and you’ll notice a dramatic improvement in your fart quality. That is, if you think that less smelly and less often is an improvement!!
But seriously: if you’re smart and you’ve never heard of colon hydrotherapy, do some reading. Mainstream culture doesn’t talk about the subject much. Be sure to find some pictures on Google too. If you see the pics and still decide not to do anything, don’t blame fate when you get grumpy or sick in a few years!
(Phhhhhhrrrrrt…)
Don’t worry though – its not like you’ll completely stop farting if you act boldly and actually clean out your rear end. After all, that would almost make the whole procedure almost not worth it.