So I’m walking to work, letting out a little morning steam. Just before reaching the building entrance, I let out two big ones. Knowing what was trapped in my pants, I decided to wait a few seconds before going inside.

Thinking I’d solved the problem, I went inside, immediately running into someone I knew. Not 5 seconds later, a wicked stench filled the room. But I thought I’d left it all outside!

Fart-Meter:

• Stink factor: 8/10
• Volume: 6/10
• Characteristics: persistent, a zero-doubt “someone farted” smell
• Trip to the John solved it: about 15 minutes later
• Fart Fuel: late night grilled cheese sandwich
• Casualties: my pants, another co-worker